1
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:04,922
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪

2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,342
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪

3
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:11,386
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪

4
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:14,389
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪

5
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:18,435
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪

6
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,522
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪

7
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,065
♪ All the things that make us ♪

8
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,192
♪ Laugh and cry ♪

9
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:29,863
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪

10
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,162
Hey, Quagmire,
how was your date last night?

11
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,497
Cleveland,
it was amazing.

12
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,332
You know what I discovered
last night?

13
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:41,750
Women have
a fourth hole.

14
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:42,960
What?
Yeah.

15
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,378
I mean,
it's only visible

16
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:45,921
if you're looking
from exactly the right angle,

17
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,631
like the entrance
to Hogwarts.

18
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,675
But you got to believe
that it's there.

19
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,677
Man, I envy
you single guys.

20
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,804
No families, partying
whenever you want.

21
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,557
These are the only people
I get to party with.

22
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,600
Oh, that's where
the fourth hole is, right there.

23
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,227
Right there in the back
of the knee.

24
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,812
I like having a family.

25
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:05,190
I got all the crazy out of
my system when I was 18.

26
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:07,651
Not me. I was dating Lois
the whole time.

27
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,444
I never got to be wild.

28
00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:12,406
Except for that time I rode
the mechanical bull at that bar.

29
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,157
(giggling)

30
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,368
Oh my God,
how embarrassing!

31
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:19,329
Look how much fun I am!

32
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,832
It's like I missed out
on half my life.

33
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,626
What I wouldn't give
to be 18 again,

34
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,211
like those kids
on spring break.

35
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,130
Grim news from Daytona, Florida,

36
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,340
where the remains
of three female college students

37
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,467
were found
near a local nightclub.

38
00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:34,845
Reports suggest that
all three were violated sexually

39
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,722
before being brutally murdered.

40
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:37,973
Oh, man, see that?

41
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,184
Everybody's getting laid but me.

42
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,727
(static)

43
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,604
Oh, come on! Oh!

44
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,231
Hang on, I'll fix it.

45
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:47,566
Oh!

46
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:48,984
Oh, my God,
is he dead?

47
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,694
I think he might
be dead!

48
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,154
Oh, did you
hear that?

49
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,031
Noah Wylie here thinks
he might be dead.

50
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,074
Step aside, Junior.

51
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:58,160
Nope, he's just
knocked out.

52
00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,078
Damn, I drove
all the way out here.

53
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,080
I had to cancel
another appointment.

54
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,917
I never like to be
too far away from Mike Wallace.

55
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,002
(typewriter keys clicking)

56
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:15,427
Hey, Death, I-I got
a favor to ask you.

57
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:18,931
Could you let me go back in time
and be 18 again?

58
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,933
What, are you high? No.

59
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:24,144
Coming up next on ESPN,
Women's Professional...

60
00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:25,979
All right, you win.
Let's go.

61
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,898
But just
for one night.

62
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,202
What the hell?
Where are we?

63
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:43,413
Oh my God, this is...
this is Newport Country Club!

64
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,332
I used to be
a towel boy here!

65
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:46,542
That's right, Peter.

66
00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:47,876
You're 18 years old
again.

67
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,795
At least that's
how everyone'll see you.

68
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,424
Hey, Peter,
slap me five.

69
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,260
Slap me ten.

70
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,845
Around the side.

71
00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,221
And back again.

72
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,472
Up high.

73
00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:01,849
Down low.

74
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:04,184
Now over by the
diving board.

75
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,272
Now on the other
side of the pool.

76
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,861
All right, now I want you
to meet me at this address

77
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,238
in an hour, and we'll
slap five there.

78
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,031
Then afterwards,
we'll hit the bars.

79
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,408
That sounds good to me.

80
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,743
I'm 18, and I'm ready
to do some living.

81
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:24,413
We are gonna raise more hell
than Hellraiser.

82
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,415
(muffled laughter)

83
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:29,251
Hey, honey, you want some salt
for your steak?

84
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,753
Yeah, sure.

85
00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:33,172
Aha, gotcha!

86
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,340
That's more salt
than you wanted.

87
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,676
LOIS:
Hello, boys.

88
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,720
(Kenny Loggins'
"Mr. Night" plays)

89
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:47,352
Wow. 18-year-old Lois.

90
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,730
Son of a bitch.

91
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,024
(scat singing)

92
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:03,827
♪ I see those ivory lies
in sweet Rosita's eyes ♪

93
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,330
♪ Gonna leave them both behind ♪

94
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:10,542
♪ When we 'tomaso all night ♪

95
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,711
♪ Hey, hey... ♪

96
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,838
Hi, Peter.

97
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,757
I'm really looking
forward to the movie tonight.

98
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,884
Peter and I
are going to see Zapped.

99
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,677
I figured Scott Baio
was androgynous enough

100
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,471
that we could both
fantasize about him,

101
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,181
and no one
would be gay.

102
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,891
Lois, we got the rest
of our lives

103
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,809
for me to not hear
a word you just said,

104
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,687
but tonight, I got plans
with Cleveland.

105
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,524
But we had a date.

106
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:37,319
Could I Wham my Oingo Boingo
into your Velvet Underground?

107
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:44,076
MAN (on radio): Stay tuned for President
Ronald Reagan's weekly radio address.

108
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,661
Ronald Reagan?!

109
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:46,954
The actor?!

110
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,121
He's president?!

111
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,331
Peter, you're the one
from the future.

112
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,083
You should know...
Ah, forget it.

113
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:54,670
Oh, you've got to hear
this new Eddie Murphy cassette I bought.

114
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:56,255
Hey, did you ever
have a barbecue?

115
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:57,506
(laughing)

116
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,966
I have!

117
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,054
(video game whirring)

118
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,098
Wow. You're really good
at this game.

119
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,891
Yeah, I've logged a lot
of game hours

120
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,351
on Menstrual Ms. Pacman.

121
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,355
What?! What?!

122
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:14,523
Geez.
Nothing.

123
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:15,607
Bitch.

124
00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:18,485
So, uh, have you
seen Ghostbusters?

125
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:19,695
Save your breath,
geekwad.

126
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,113
I'm here
with my boyfriend.

127
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,865
You mean that
quintessentially '80s guy

128
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,783
with his collar
turned up all the way?

129
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:27,202
Are you hitting
on my girlfriend?

130
00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:28,287
(moaning)

131
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,872
Mmm. That
was nice.

132
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:30,956
I'll say.

133
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,124
Peter, is that...?

134
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,293
Are you...
Molly Ringwald?

135
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:35,752
Yeah. How's
it going?

136
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,546
Wow, you're the biggest star
in the world right now.

137
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:38,630
What are you
doing here?

138
00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:40,799
Oh, I like to hook up
with random bar guys.

139
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:43,010
Lucky for me, huh?

140
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,928
No, a hobby's good.

141
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,471
All right, Peter,
your time's up.

142
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,015
Aw, man, already?

143
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,225
Yup, come on.
(groans)

144
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:51,894
Good to meet you, Molly.

145
00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:54,062
I'll be back later
for your career.

146
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,569
Well, I hope you got
your fill, Peter.

147
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,070
Death, that was
totally worth it.

148
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,072
It was even better
than the time

149
00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,991
I stumbled into that fat,
lonely women's club.

150
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,453
Uh, excuse me,
could I get directions

151
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,704
to the Providence Civic Center?

152
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,081
ALL:
Ooh!

153
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,083
Do you
like cake?

154
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,293
Yes.

155
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,836
Do you like
my ass?

156
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:18,921
Yes.

157
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,298
Do you want to eat
cake off my ass?

158
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,758
What kind of cake?

159
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,219
Angel food cake.

160
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,054
Well, Rusty, looks like

161
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,181
we're gonna eat our way
out of another jam.

162
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,157
(yawns)

163
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,450
Honey, you awake?

164
00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:50,244
Morning, sweetie.
Aah!

165
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,412
Who the hell are you?!
What are you doing in my bed?!

166
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:54,122
Peter, it's me. Molly?

167
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,207
Your wife?

168
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,834
Molly Ringwald?

169
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:57,918
You're my wife?!

170
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,461
We've been married for 20 years.

171
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:00,838
What's wrong with you?

172
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,714
Hi. I'm Judd Nelson.

173
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,800
I crash here once
or twice a week.

174
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,593
(overwhelmed sigh)

175
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,306
(screaming)

176
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,433
Brian, Molly Ringwald
is in my bed,

177
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:14,935
and she says
she's my wife!

178
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,019
That's not all.

179
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,104
Look at this place.

180
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,188
Everything's different.

181
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:19,857
This is crazy.

182
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,192
Brian, did you ever see
that Twilight Zone episode?

183
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,069
You know, where the
woman wakes up in the hospital,

184
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,529
and all the
doctors are pigs?

185
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,072
Yeah.
I like that one.

186
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,949
But what the hell
is going on here?

187
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,951
You know, I think
I have a theory.

188
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,287
It's possible that
when we went back in time,

189
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,122
we somehow altered the past.

190
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,623
Geez, Brian,
that's more ridiculous

191
00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:40,210
than the theory of why Tom
Cruise runs in all his movies.

192
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:46,091
Wow, that cameraman
has nice strong arms.

193
00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:48,343
You can't catch me,
gay thoughts.

194
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:52,556
Hey, where the hell is Lois?
That's weird.

195
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,017
Looks like she's coming out
of Quagmire's house.

196
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,103
Lois, what the hell?

197
00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,731
I'm gone for one night,
and you sleep with Quagmire?!

198
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,524
Mr. Griffin,
what I do

199
00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:04,693
with my husband is
none of your business.

200
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,403
Husband?
Morning, Pete.

201
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,031
Hope you and Molly
can still join us for dinner tonight.

202
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,033
Come here, baby.
Let's go play Schoolgirl

203
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:13,827
And Guy Who Has Sex
With Schoolgirl.

204
00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:15,037
(Lois laughing)

205
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,872
Brian, what the
hell is going on?!

206
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,957
We were only in
1984 one night,

207
00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:21,168
and now everything's
all messed up.

208
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:24,046
I think I can explain it
to you, Peter.

209
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,882
This line represents
the normal flow of events.

210
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:29,051
Here's where you met Lois,
here's where you got married,

211
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:30,427
and here's the present.

212
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:32,262
And here's the night at the bar.

213
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,181
Now, at some point
during that evening,

214
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,767
you did something that changed
the course of your history,

215
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,685
causing the time line
to skew off

216
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,646
into an alternate tangent,

217
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,314
where you're married
to Molly Ringwald,

218
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,775
Quagmire's married to Lois,
and for some reason,

219
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,276
we have a chalkboard
in the living room.

220
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,736
Well, what are we gonna do?

221
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:51,281
We got to figure out what
happened at this point in time.

222
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,283
And I'll tell you another thing
that worries me.

223
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,327
You ever hear the theory
that if you kill a butterfly

224
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,955
in the past, it can drastically
alter the present?

225
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,624
Well, who knows
what else we changed.

226
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,417
MAN (on TV):
Tonight on The Tonight Show,

227
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:04,086
movie star George Clooney.

228
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,254
Oh, he's good.

229
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:07,506
Comedian Dave Chappelle.

230
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:08,924
He's funny. Like him.

231
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,510
And musician Harry Connick Jr.

232
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:12,970
Wow. What a show.

233
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,348
And, now, ladies
and gentleman, here's...

234
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,516
Chevy!

235
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,268
Oh, God, Brian,
we messed up bad.

236
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,811
We messed up
real bad.

237
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,315
(doorbell ringing)

238
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,817
Howdy, neighbors!
Come on in.

239
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,777
Hey, Lois, Peter
and Molly are here!

240
00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:30,737
Chris, say hi tosMr.
and Mrs. Griffin.

241
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,281
Hi, Mr. Griffin.

242
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,365
How's it
goin', man?

243
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,158
Chris, Stewie!

244
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,452
Oh, my God! All right,
don't freak out, Peter.

245
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:40,080
Don't freak out like you did
when your goldfish died.

246
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:43,125
Here you go,
Lieutenant Shiny-Sides.

247
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,794
It's okay. You don't have
to eat it now.

248
00:09:45,878 --> 00:09:47,379
You're just sleeping.

249
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,506
(voice breaking):
You'll eat it later.

250
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:52,843
You'll eat it later,
Lieutenant Shiny-Sides!

251
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,887
(sobbing)

252
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,185
Meg, stop staring
at Mr. Griffin.

253
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,936
I'm sorry,
Peter.

254
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,272
I'm afraid she's got
her father's libido.

255
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,441
What can I say? I'm
a Vagitarius. Oh!

256
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,109
(all three laughing)

257
00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:11,445
ALL THREE: Giggity, giggity, giggity,
giggity, giggity, giggity.

258
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,988
Hey, did you guys
hear on the news

259
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,573
about President
Gore hunting down

260
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,950
and killing Osama Bin
Laden with his bare hands?

261
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,911
I know. Who would've thought

262
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:21,830
Bin Laden was hiding out
in the cast of Mad TV.

263
00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,332
Man, the perfect
hiding spot.

264
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,167
The one place no
one would look.

265
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,085
(buzzer sounds)
Oh, there's the pie.

266
00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:33,133
Lois, this is
a huge mistake.

267
00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:34,885
What are you talking
about, Peter?

268
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,720
You're supposed
to be married to me.

269
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,263
We're the ones who were
meant to be together.

270
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:39,723
Not you and
Quagmire.

271
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:43,060
(laughs) It's a little late for that,
don't you think, Peter?

272
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,187
I mean, there was a time
back when we dated

273
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,814
that I thought
you might be the one,

274
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:50,025
but as I recall,
you were more interested

275
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:51,944
in partying
with your friends.

276
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:55,656
Then Glenn came along,
and stole my heart. (laughs)

277
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,617
When he kissed me that night
at the Country Club Dance,

278
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,953
I knew we'd be together forever.

279
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:02,788
Hey Lois, I'm ready
for your pie.

280
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,957
And you made
dessert, too! Oh!

281
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,542
(laughing):
Oh, Glenn,

282
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:09,002
I love all your sex jokes
and your dirty puns.

283
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,879
That's why
I married you.

284
00:11:10,963 --> 00:11:13,757
Mmm.
Let's go upstairs and do it.

285
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,759
Okay!

286
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:22,808
Brian, going back in
time ruined my life.

287
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:25,644
We've got to get
Death to send us back to 1984 again

288
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:26,979
so I can undo what I did.

289
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,314
Or we could just make
the best of this.

290
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:31,024
Al Gore is President.

291
00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,652
We could kind of just take
that one and call it a win.

292
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,612
I mean, with Bush,
we didn't have flying cars

293
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,030
that run on vegetable oil.

294
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,785
♪ Meet George Jetson ♪

295
00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:46,874
♪ His boy Elroy ♪

296
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,213
♪ Daughter Judy ♪

297
00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:58,343
♪ Jane, his wife ♪

298
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:02,264
Hey, hey!

299
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,932
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey! No, no, no!

300
00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:07,019
No! No! I took this
one out for you.

301
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,479
You take this one,
I keep this!

302
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,107
You are not taking
my whole wallet so you can go shopping.

303
00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:14,193
I was just going
to buy some groceries.

304
00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:15,903
Bull crap.

305
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,615
I don't care what
it takes, Brian,

306
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,366
I've got to get Lois
back somehow.

307
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:23,452
Well, the only one
who can help us is Death,

308
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,245
and he only shows up
when somebody dies.

309
00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:26,705
(sighs):
That's gonna be tough.

310
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,582
With President Gore's
universal health care,

311
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,125
people are living much
longer these days.

312
00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:32,085
And with zero
tolerance gun control

313
00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:33,837
and a strong, well-funded
educational system,

314
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,464
there's no street crime.

315
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,216
Face it, Peter,
you not marrying Lois

316
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,301
was the best thing that
ever happened to the world.

317
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,928
I don't care; we've
got to find a way

318
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,346
to summon Death
and quick.

319
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,932
(thud)

320
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:46,099
Well, that might do it.

321
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,394
Death, oh, thank God
you're here!

322
00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:51,522
Listen, you've got to
send me back in time again

323
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:52,940
so I can marry Lois.

324
00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:54,399
Man, it's been a busy day.

325
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:56,527
Dick Cheney,
the chairman of Halliburton,

326
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,655
shot Supreme Court Justice
Scalia in a hunting accident,

327
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,198
and the bullet went
right through him

328
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,450
and killed Karl Rove
and Tucker Carlson.

329
00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:05,911
Oh, my God, Peter,
you can't marry Lois.

330
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,704
I don't know who any
of those people are.

331
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:12,751
All right, hang on.

332
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:14,002
Here we go.

333
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:22,219
This is the exact
moment in 1984

334
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,179
that I sent you
to the first time.

335
00:13:24,263 --> 00:13:26,098
You've just got to manage
not to screw it up again.

336
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:31,061
Lois! Oh, my God,
it's so good to see you!

337
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,814
Hey, Peter, you
all set to go see Zapped! tonight?

338
00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:36,191
I figured Scott Baio
was androgynous enough that we could...

339
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:37,693
That we could both
fantasize about him

340
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,319
and no one would be gay,
yeah, I know the joke.

341
00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:41,029
Hey, you know what,
listen, Zapped! sucks.

342
00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:42,406
Why don't we go see Krull?

343
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,825
Peter, you know I'm
dying to see Zapped!.

344
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,535
I would much prefer Krull.

345
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:48,704
Well, maybe you should
just go by yourself.

346
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,747
Well, maybe I will.
Fine.

347
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,499
Crap. Death!

348
00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:55,169
What?
One more time.

349
00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:58,172
Hey, Peter, you
all set to go see Zapped! tonight?

350
00:13:58,255 --> 00:14:00,382
I figured Scott Baio
was androgynous enough

351
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,718
that we could...
(laughing): That's hilarious!

352
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,136
You are a delight.

353
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:06,221
And Zapped! is one
of my favorite movies.

354
00:14:06,305 --> 00:14:08,515
I look forward to watching it
with you, sweetheart.

355
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:09,725
Oh, wonderful.

356
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,143
(passes gas)

357
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,936
Death!

358
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,397
Hey, Peter, you
all set to go see Zapped! tonight?

359
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,982
I figured
Scott Baio was...

360
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,775
Yeah, yeah, Scott Baio, gay,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

361
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,485
(laughs): I can't wait to see the movie.

362
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:21,695
Well, terrific.

363
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,155
I'll see you tonight.

364
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:24,865
Oh, hey, Peter.

365
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:26,992
Say, I was just getting
ready to hit the town.

366
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,327
You want to join me?

367
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,579
I can't, Cleveland,
I got a date with Lois.

368
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,164
It's gonna be fun.

369
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:33,749
It is?

370
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:35,792
("Axel F" plays)

371
00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:42,049
(vocalizing)

372
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,721
♪ And then another
he-he he-he-he. ♪

373
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:48,972
Peter, what the hell
are you doing?

374
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,432
You're supposed
to be with Lois.

375
00:14:50,516 --> 00:14:52,684
Aw, crap! Death!

376
00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:54,978
No. Y-you know what?
I'm not doing it again.

377
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,772
Screw this.
No more mulligans.

378
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,398
You're on your own.

379
00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:01,109
Oh, damn it, Brian,
what the hell am I gonna do now?

380
00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:02,778
I haven't screwed up this bad

381
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:05,364
since I bought Joe Piscopo
that barbell set.

382
00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:08,408
All right Joe, now don't
get carried away with this.

383
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:09,660
Don't worry, Peter.

384
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:12,037
I'll only work out
during my downtime.

385
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,043
Oh, look who it is.

386
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,003
Only 14 hours late.

387
00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:22,631
If you don't want to
spend time with me, Peter, that's fine.

388
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,675
But at least don't
make me wait up all night for you.

389
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,301
Lois, I'm so sorry.

390
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:28,095
I promise, I'll make
it up to you tonight.

391
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,638
We can watch any
stupid movie you want.

392
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,682
Sorry, I've
already got plans.

393
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,976
What do you--
what do you mean "plans"?

394
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:36,436
I'm going to the Country
Club Dance with Glenn.

395
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,980
I wanted to
surprise you

396
00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:39,189
with the invitation
last night,

397
00:15:39,273 --> 00:15:40,607
but you never showed up.

398
00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:43,819
Now, if you'll excuse
me, I have to get ready.

399
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:46,196
Peter, the Country Club
Dance is where Lois said

400
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,073
she fell in love
with Quagmire.

401
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:50,075
If they kiss at that
dance, you're finished.

402
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,577
You're right, Brian.
We've got to stop them.

403
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:54,580
And I think I know how.

404
00:15:54,663 --> 00:15:56,832
("Axel F" plays, vocalizing)

405
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:02,838
♪ And then another
he-he he-he-he. ♪

406
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:04,798
Peter!
Oh, God, sorry, sorry, sorry.

407
00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:05,924
You're right,
let's go to the dance.

408
00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:11,722
♪ ♪

409
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,391
Peter used to be
so passionate.

410
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:17,269
Suddenly he just doesn't
seem very interested in me anymore.

411
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:19,813
Lois, if may speak
freely, as a friend?

412
00:16:19,897 --> 00:16:21,440
You deserve
better than Peter.

413
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:22,900
You deserve
a gentleman.

414
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:25,485
Oh, Glenn, you're so sweet.

415
00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:26,904
Oh, something poked me.

416
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,614
It's okay, it's okay.

417
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:29,698
It's just my wang.

418
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,250
PETER: Now I know what
a TV dinner feels like.

419
00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:42,044
BRIAN: What?
It's a line from Die Hard.

420
00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:43,712
Hasn't been made yet.

421
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,297
We could write it, Brian.

422
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:46,924
After we're done with this,
we could write it.

423
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,884
(crashing, shouting)

424
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:51,428
Oh, my God,
you just crushed Andy!

425
00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:52,804
Oh, yeah, sorry about that.

426
00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:54,431
Oh, oh, you're sorry?

427
00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:56,350
Who's gonna play guitar?

428
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,101
♪ ♪

429
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:06,068
♪ Earth angel, earth angel ♪

430
00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:08,070
Oh, I love this song.

431
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:14,993
Lois, may I have
this dance?

432
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,995
Peter, what are you doing here?

433
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,081
I love you,
Lois Pewterschmidt.

434
00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:22,084
And not Quagmire or any
man, she-male, robot

435
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:24,419
or sentient robot curious
about its own existence

436
00:17:24,503 --> 00:17:25,712
is going to keep
you from me!

437
00:17:25,796 --> 00:17:27,881
Peter, I am here with Glenn.

438
00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:29,675
You had your chance
with me and you blew it.

439
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,635
Now leave us alone.

440
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,221
Is that what you
really want, Lois?

441
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,265
Yes, it is.

442
00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:38,600
Well, I guess that's it.

443
00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:40,060
Who the hell am I kidding?

444
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,645
I don't deserve her.

445
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,777
Come on, Peter.

446
00:17:48,861 --> 00:17:50,696
Prove to Lois that you love her.

447
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,322
It's your last chance.

448
00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:56,702
♪ ♪

449
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,537
Hey, Quagmire.
Huh?

450
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:05,961
Sorry, Lois, but I
have to do this.

451
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,963
(moaning)

452
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:14,052
Oh, Peter, that was
so passionate.

453
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:16,430
Why, I didn't know
I meant that much to you.

454
00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,056
Are you kidding?

455
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,267
Lois, I couldn't bear
to live without you.

456
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,476
I came back thinking

457
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,437
I was missing
something in my life.

458
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,105
But what I almost missed

459
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:27,774
was the best thing that's
ever happened to me.

460
00:18:27,858 --> 00:18:31,945
Lois Pewterschmidt,
will you be my wife?

461
00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:33,280
Yes.

462
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,615
Yes, I will.

463
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:39,203
♪ ♪

464
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,056
(song ends)

465
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,435
(applause)

466
00:19:06,939 --> 00:19:08,357
I think they want another one.

467
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:10,901
(cheering)

468
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,153
Uh... okay.

469
00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:18,242
Here's a song by a gay guy.

470
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,452
(plays Rick Astley's
"Never Gonna Give You Up")

471
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:30,796
♪ We're no strangers to love ♪

472
00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:35,217
♪ You know the rules
and so do I ♪

473
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:38,846
♪ A full commitment's
what I'm thinking of ♪

474
00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:42,307
♪ You wouldn't get this
from any other guy ♪

475
00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:48,021
♪ I just want to tell you
how I'm feeling ♪

476
00:19:48,105 --> 00:19:50,566
♪ Got to make you understand ♪

477
00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:54,486
♪ Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down ♪

478
00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:56,488
♪ Never gonna run around ♪

479
00:19:56,572 --> 00:19:58,532
♪ And desert you ♪
Whoa, whoa, big guy.

480
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:00,784
You're probably never
even gonna see him again.

481
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,995
♪ Never gonna say good-bye ♪

482
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:06,999
♪ Never gonna tell a lie
and hurt you... ♪

483
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:10,335
Hey, Rick,
it's your cousin, Marvin.

484
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,337
Marvin Astley?!

485
00:20:12,421 --> 00:20:14,006
You know that mediocre,

486
00:20:14,089 --> 00:20:16,508
generic sound
you've been looking for?

487
00:20:16,592 --> 00:20:18,343
Well, listen to this!

488
00:20:18,427 --> 00:20:19,970
♪ Never gonna give,
Never gonna give ♪

489
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,389
♪ Give you up ♪

490
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,224
♪ Never gonna give,
Never gonna give ♪

491
00:20:24,308 --> 00:20:26,518
♪ Give you up ♪

492
00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:28,270
♪ Never gonna give... ♪

493
00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:35,319
(trills note)

494
00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:44,036
MAN:
I didn't like any of that.

495
00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:51,084
Wow, Peter, that's
an amazing story.

496
00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:53,045
And I'm touched that
you went through

497
00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:55,631
so much trouble
just to be with me.

498
00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:58,509
Obviously, I made the right
choice when I married you.

499
00:20:58,592 --> 00:21:00,219
Me, too, Lois.

500
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:02,262
And, hey, let's just
all be grateful

501
00:21:02,346 --> 00:21:04,890
that things are completely
back to normal again.

502
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,476
Who ate all the
pecan sandies?

503
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,356
♪